I create context. I also write blog posts:

You Don't Have It

Posted: August 3rd, 2010 | Author: | Tags: , , | 2 Comments »

About a week and a half ago, I received one of those soul-crushing, heart-wrenching, cliche-enticing rejection letters that come so frequently when you enter things you’ve poured blood, sweat, and tears — or, in my case, over a year of hard work — into something you’re proud of. Not so much with the blood or sweat or tears for me, I’ll grant you, but quite a bit of red wine and concentration, and hey, maybe even a little sweat (I wrote quite a few pages sitting in my boxers in a hot apartment in Los Angeles). And it was a fairly personal script. I don’t know how anybody else writes, but I write about my own experiences, blanketed in the veil of another world, of course (to avoid offending nearly everyone I know), and for those experiences to be outright rejected hurt quite a bit.

And it was tough, and I’ve gone through some ups and downs since then — throwing away whole pages of dialogue, reworking entire acts, and even an erection lasting more than four hours; basically, just the stuff everyone goes through — and I’m still grappling with the “what does this mean” question that needs to be answered soon. Does it mean I suck and I should try selling insurance for a bit? Hopefully not. Does it mean that the reader was just the one asshole in the world that didn’t like my rose-smelling shit? Eh, as much as I’d like to believe it, probably not that either. It’s been a long week and a half for me, I won’t lie, and at points I’ve considered myself to be in a sort of “fragile” place when it comes to confidence and my ability to write and even my desire to write.
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