I create context. I also write blog posts:

Amazon wants me to pre-order Avatar.

Posted: March 20th, 2010 | Author: | Tags: , , , , | No Comments »

I got an email yesterday from Amazon asking if I wanted to pre-order my copy of Avatar. Of course, I deleted it right away. Here’s why: Avatar was not very good. Cheesy dialogue, “Fullhouse” morals, cardboard cutout characters… Nothing about this movie surprised me.

I had no reason to root for the protagonist and no reason to root against the antagonist, because James Cameron spent more time touching himself than he did building emotional connections. Ok, I get it: this was supposed to signal a revolutionary new way to create movies. But let’s get to the story: on one side we have a dude who is in a wheelchair who is just supposed to do the right thing all the time (we’ll call him Charlie from the Mighty Ducks), even when it means he has to go hang out in some world that he knows nothing about, fight to gain acceptance in, and will still only be a minor character in his dead brother’s shadow (though, granted, he does get his legs back!!!!). Do I feel bad because he’s in the wheelchair and his smart, scientific brother died? No. But that’s only because he shunned everyone who did feel sorry for him. He didn’t need help slinging his feet into the Matrix tanning beds, and damned if he needs help becoming a big blue thing. So he’s on his own. And the bad guys? How courageous…

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