I create context. I also write blog posts:

Downpour

Posted: June 20th, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »

CHARACTER A

Do you think cars mind being left out in the rain all the time?

CHARACTER B

Do I -- No. I don’t. I don’t think cars have the capacity to “mind” anything.

CHARACTER A

I mean, they’re just out there, getting wet all the time, getting snowed on. Hail. Leaves.

CHARACTER B

Hail and leaves? I’m concerned about my car getting hit with hail ’cause I’m the one who’s got to pay for it, but leaves? No, I don’t care that leaves fall on my car.

CHARACTER A

You know what I mean.

CHARACTER B

Honest to God, I don’t.

CHARACTER A

Well, I don’t know how to explain it then.

CHARACTER B

Ok.

CHARACTER A

Ok.

CHARACTER B

All right, then if we’re just going to sit here, wouldjya close that window? It’s starting to blow in. I’m ok with it raining on my car, I’m not ok with it raining on me, especially when I’m indoors.

CHARACTER A

When I was a kid, I used to hate thunderstorms. It sounded like someone was outside my window dropping a giant piece of plywood or something. They sounded angry. I hated it. But somewhere along the line, I started to like it. I wonder, at what point did that change?

CHARACTER B

It happens gradually, over time.

CHARACTER A

I don’t know. I mean, there must’ve been a final storm that I hated, and then, maybe the next one wasn’t so bad, and the next one after that. But at one specific moment, something in my head changed from “I hate these” to “I guess don’t hate these.”

CHARACTER B

You get over it, you mature, you think logically. As a little kid, you’re scared because they’re loud noises and you don’t know why they’re happening. But as you get older, you realize that it’s not anything to be afraid of, it’s not coming after you. And instead of burying your head in the pillow, you realize you can turn around and look at it. You can go out on the porch and watch it come up the lake. And unless you’re on a golf course holding a nine-iron in the air, the only thing it can do to you is get you a little wet.

CHARACTER A

Do you think the cars know that?


You Know What Sucks?

Posted: June 8th, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »

I was going to put up something different tonight, but this came out instead:

CHARACTER A

You know what sucks?

CHARACTER B

What?

CHARACTER A

Losing one of your best friends to a drunk driver.

CHARACTER B

Oh.

A pause.

CHARACTER B [CON'T]

I didn’t know you were going to say that.

CHARACTER A

Well, I wasn’t going to, but it came out. I was going to say the Chicken Pox. Those sucked.

CHARACTER B

They did.

CHARACTER A

But they don’t seem so bad now.

CHARACTER B

No, I guess not.

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